Her first days of grasping a toy and holding it closely...
It's funny. I thought earlier today that I would be writing about this giant step forward, as I took a big deep breath and relaxed in thinking we were back in our routine... Instead I have realized again that I am very good at sprinting up the stairs (that is, on a wooden staircase with two turns in it, while wearing slippery socks), scooping up our baby and moving into the bounce, sway and shush momentum in a desperate attempt to convince her that she in fact is still in a very deep sleep. After that sprint my heart is racing, and I can only hope that baby girl will be convinced to take her mini freak out back down to a calm comfortable sleep. Was she having a bad dream? Is something hurting her? Is she too warm? Maybe the sound machine is distracting her... Maybe it's gas, or a wet diaper? Is she lonely and needing to be held, or will that reinforce the wake up and cry for help habit that seems to be forming? Is there a little sleepless angel on her shoulder saying... "It's time to wake up again." How does her body follow such a perfected clockwork? How does it know to wake up every hour, on the dot? Anyways, what it seems to be is another one of those "Sometimes these things happen" moments. Which actually is starting to be more of a "These things usually happen" phrase now. Before I let my tired mind type away about this discouraging sleep cycle that seems to be the norm these days I will stop because in fact there have been some really incredible giant steps forward lately, along with a few hiccups.
We didn't quite put our momma and poppa bear guard up perfectly, slipped up just once, and baby girl caught her first cold. It was as all the parents we know say, "the first cold is always the hardest". She had the normal adult symptoms that we are all familiar with, like mucus, congestion, sad eyes, little energy and the worst part, a hard time breathing at night (infants breathe mostly through their nose, which is of course difficult when it's full of snot). We kicked it into gear and found ourselves a new pediatrician that is only a mile and a half away, got her health care to finally be considered "active" (thanks, OHP!) and read one too many forums on infant sickness. We bought remedies, hijacked a humidifier from my sister and surrounded her with healing tricks and love. Of course it comes as no shock that the best remedy came straight from the source, breast milk. (Yes I did just refer to my milk as the source.) We were comforted by a wellness check that showed her lungs were clear, her ears seemed fine and that this was a traditional cold. No fever and in fact that what we could do best to treat her little symptoms was to smother her in TLC (and breastmilk). One solid week of very restless nights, as we propped her to be as upright as possible, put eucalyptus and lavender oil in the vaporizer, and she was back on the upswing. And by the way the eucalyptus and lavender oil actually created a really nice chest rub when mixed with some Burts Bees all purpose baby ointment. We used the Nosefrida (highly recommended), saline solution, and breast milk religiously to break up the mucus. We went from our sleep routine that was feeling so perfected with up to 6 hours of deep sleep in the first part of the night, to waking up 3 to 4 times in the middle of the night to nurse. Sooooo... Here we are just shy of two weeks later and she seems to be healthy again! Phew. What a little champ she is for handling that. She couldn't express to us what was happening, nor could we calm her by telling her it was normal and that we had hoped it would be short lived. To see your 3 month old with those sad eyes is just too much...
Whole hand grasping and bringing it to her mouth.
But let's not fret like the sappy new mom in me wants to and instead get back to reality. We will get back to that good evening routine, we MUST. Baby steps and patience, it can happen. In the meantime we have been reading up in the book "The Wonder Weeks" and found that this first cold fell into what is considered in the book as a "stormy period" in her developmental leaps forward. A bit of a coincidence but nice to know our perfect little routine would have been interrupted anyway! One little detail that stuck with me about this time for her and for us is that it says if you, the parents, are feeling more frustrated than usual with the struggles you are going through with your baby, then in fact it likely means she is going through a "leap" or a transition in her development. So that is comforting. I would highly recommend the book or the app to follow along with your baby's development. It is helpful to have a tool to describe the behaviors you're seeing (and your own feelings as a parent) in addition to giving you a heads up about what to expect in the future and why.
And it is true that she is of course making yet another leap! We have seen proof in the last week alone. She has found her thumb and is successfully self-soothing (in the messiest of drooly ways) with it. She figured out how to grasp a wooden ring hanging above her and to hold it tight enough to bring it to her mouth. She has become very captivated by the reflection of her face in the mirror when she lays on her belly for some tummy time. She follows along with her eyes as we turn pages in a book. She smiles at us from across the room. She gurgles and babbles in response to us talking to her. She loves the "head, shoulders, knees and toes" song. But probably the biggest surprise to us was watching her roll over from her tummy to her back! Also amazing is the fact that now that she's done it once, she can do it almost on command! So, although we have seen the first cold come and go, seen her schedule take a total flip and discovered what a badass sleepy team we (my husband and I) are in the middle of night, she really has made some totally awe inspiring and mind blowing progressions in her development as well.
A focus examination of her reflection.
I am reminded each day of why I am (and always have been) such a sucker for babies. It might be their little faces, endearing eyes and sweet noises or the tiny clothing they wear and the way they hold onto your fingers so tightly... but most gloriously it is watching a little mind work as it refines a skill in no time at all! As I learned over and over again in my Montessori training, giving the child the right environment to learn will allow him or her to master skills at exactly the time when he or she is ready to do so. Giving our baby the space to move her body freely on her "movement mat" has already proven itself to be a success! Each day I see her gross and fine motor movements become a bit more refined and watch as her captivating eyes focus a bit harder on each object at hand. Here's to staying ahead of this developmental game and providing her with all the tools she needs for success! Feeling like a baby nerd to say the least, but hey is there honestly anything more important than giving a person the right base for starting their life? No pressure at all, really...
“When the child begins to move, his mind, being able to absorb, has already taken in his surroundings. Before he starts moving at all, an unconscious psychological development has taken place in him, and when he initiates his first movements, this begins to become conscious.” -Maria Montessori
The Absorbent Mind, Kalakshetra Publications, 1949
Ch. 3, pg. 26